yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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