Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize