you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize