Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need water and some morals
Randomize