I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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