what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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