I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize