new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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