my being single is dangerous.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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