Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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