We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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