the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I've blown a few things in my day
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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