Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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