hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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