pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
