It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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