she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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