Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
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I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
ttyl tear gas
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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