wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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