I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize