She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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