I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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