So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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