i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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