Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize