My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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