she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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