You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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