I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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