If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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