i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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