never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize