he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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