the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize