I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize