I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize