I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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