The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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