I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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