i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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