He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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