What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize