just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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