And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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