Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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