So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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