so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
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i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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