Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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