She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize