She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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